Most of us attribute a negative connotation to the word “selfish”—it tends to be associated with egocentricity, cruelty, and unpleasantness. We don’t realize that “selfishness” is actually the gateway to gifting others the best version of ourselves.
However, I’m not talking about the selfishness that is, indeed, egocentric, cruel, and unpleasant. I’m talking about the selfishness that blesses yourself and blesses others (we’re all one, really). Hm… let’s call it soulishness! When I refer to the soul, I am referring to the Spirit-mind-body, and I believe the word “soulishness” captures the essence of what I want to transmit to you: to allow yourself to focus on the full expression of your soul and, through that expression, to serve others in the most authentically powerful way.
When you prioritize yourself, you have more of yourself to give to others. Sacrificing yourself for others brings about bitterness and resentment—I’ve been there myself. You begin to lose yourself in catering to others.
The question is: how do you expect to be able to be there for others if you’re not there for yourself first? We want to be there for those we care about, our loving soul desires to be of service to others. But we want to be of service in a way that lights us up, so we can share that light of Consciousness with others.
Let’s shift our awareness from doing for others to being for others. There’s nothing wrong with taking other selves into consideration; in fact, serving others can be a great inspiration for many to show their own unique expression of Consciousness to the world. And I’m not forgetting that the Self is truly one—which is why we are called to do unto others as we would have them do unto us. What I’m proposing is spiritual-mental-physical action (being), instead of physical action (doing) alone.
What is this spiritual-mental-physical action, being what? Simply put: embodying, being, your desired identity. Yes, I know, I repeat this quite often, and that’s because desired identity embodiment always works for being whoever we want to be in this life.
I already mentioned that we inspire others to be themselves by being ourselves. That’s not all, though: when we ourselves change, our environment changes. And our environment includes the people we surround ourselves with.
When others penetrate your awareness, the way you see them becomes part of your own identity. For example, if you affirm that “I have a caring family”, you are not only affirming that your family members are caring individuals—you are also affirming that “I AM a person with a caring family”.
Now, if your family is uncaring, confronting them about it to transform them into caring people may just end up being a recipe to create more friction (unless they are open to and desirous of changing for themselves). We are not here to coerce anyone into embodying the identity we desire for them to embody—we are only to place our attention on who we are being. This is why: whatever identity we are embodying, the outer world always reflects our inner world back to us. Because of this, those who don’t match who we are being either step out of our lives or they change their being; the how is up to God.
Up to you is to embody your desired identity, and as it, see (think-feel-behave) others as this identity sees (think-feel-behave) them. Authenticity allows the love emanating from you to transform your life and the lives of others. You are not here to be a crutch to those you love, but a catapult that moves them into becoming that which their own souls desire. By being selfish soulish, you place yourself AND others into better and better states of being.
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